I knew it was going to happen, but we just didn’t know when. Here it is! Men’s answer to Maxine.

MAX

Men strike back!
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It’s one of those “evolutionary things” that allows
Them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with “A man once told me…”
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How do you fix a woman’s watch?
You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.
! ——————————————————————-
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can’t shut up long enough to
Build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.
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What’s worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won’t do what she’s told
————————————–! —————————–
I married Miss Right.
I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90%.
It’s called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
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Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and to the select few women who can handle the truth!

AND MAXINE SAYS…..! Wipe your mouth there is still a tiny bit of bull shit around your lips!

 Guts or Balls  

 

    Medical Distinctions

 We’ve all heard about people having guts or balls.

 But do you really know the

difference between them?

 In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below….

 GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: ”Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?”

 BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on  the butt and having the balls to say: “You’re next.”

 I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.

 Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome since both ultimately result in death.

That’s gayer than a bag of dick’s

Get eer done, if she is easy get err done twice

“We May Not Know The Question, But we definitely know the answer.”

DRINK!

Beer Before Liqour Never Been Sicker.

Liqour Before Beer Your in the Clear!